


Wants and Needs

by photonromance



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Biting, Bruises, Hiding Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:06:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3211910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/photonromance/pseuds/photonromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julian likes the bruises. Likes that Garak can mark him. But what Garak doesn't know can hurt them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wants and Needs

Julian likes the bruises. He likes when Elim permits himself to taste his own fierce nature. And the finger shaped bruises on Julian’s sharp hips, the finer marks of teeth on his back and shoulders, all of the little marks a wonderful night can leave, are so precious to him. That he can draw that from his lover. That he is so… desirable. It’s not something Julian is accustomed to.

But he knows Elim does not feel the same. He know the marks are reminders of his… previous occupation. Julian is careful to heal them quickly come morning, before the artificial light of proverbial day can make Elim uncomfortable.

Except… except he doesn’t always heal them all. Sometimes he sets his fingertips into a mark and remembers the growls Elim had rumbled into his ear as he drove Julian into the bed and he can’t bear to simply swipe it away.

Sometimes, he keeps a few marks to touch throughout the day and keep him company.

It’s fine, great even, until he forgets to heal them at the end of shift. Back in his quarters, pinned to the wall and being kissed out of his head, he is reminded.

Elim pushes up his shirt to lean in and lick at his collarbone and freezes.

"What-"

"You never said I hurt you." Elim’s voice has dropped to a deadly whisper.

For the first time in a long time, Julian can’t think of anything to say. “It’s not - I usually just run the dermal regerator-”

"Usually." Elim steps back, hands falling to his sides.

Julian pulls his shirt down and flounders. “Look, I’m not some delicate-”

"I hurt you." He doesn’t even raise his voice, but Julian flinches. "I knew I- but not like this."

"I like them." He doesn’t mean to start there, but he can feel Elim closing off. He can physically feel him becoming distant. “I use the regenerator so you don’t have to see them, but I- I kept this one because I reminded me-”

Julian looks away before he forces himself to meet Elim’s eye. “They remind me that you.. that you wanted me. Even if it was just last night.” He’s ashamed to say it. To admit that he feels unwanted.

"I needed to know I was hurting you." It startles him. He expected Elim to be gone by now. Instead, he has remained. He looks haunted. "I deserved to know that."

Julian crosses his arms over his chest and tucks his chin. “I was afraid you would leave.”

"I am not worth your safety. Your health." Elim reaches out as if to take his shoulders and hesitates. He drops his hands instead. "I can’t trust you to take care of yourself, Julian."

He wants to retch. “I-” He’s pretty sure he’s actually going to vomit. “I swear to you,” he manages, “I will never lie to you again.” Julian knows he’s trembling, but he can’t seem to stop it.

Elim’s pale eyes go soft. He opens his arms and Julian barely manages to stop himself from leaping forward. As it is, he steps close and nuzzles himself under Elim’s chin.

And he’s safe again. Wanted. “Never again.” Julian whimpers, “Never.”

"Hush." Elim holds him close and strokes a hand down Julian’s back. "I only want you to promise one thing."

"Anything." And he means it. Julian has never meant something more in his life.

Elim kisses his hair. “I want you to promise me you will never put my feelings before your health.”

Julian nods frantically. “I promise you, Elim Garak, I promise this.”

"That’s good." Elim murmurs, still rubbing at Julian’s shoulders, "You did good."

They don’t have sex that night. Julian is still trembling when they lie down and Elim doesn't stop petting him for a moment. It feels like he can’t apologize enough, but Elim only hushes him and asks to repeat his promise. “It’s enough.” He insists, “It’s plenty enough.”


End file.
